Toby is the worst
By on November 30, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (10)
Sometimes I am a critical bastard. It’s little things like I am very critical of peoples’ docks or their desktops or any sort of computer organization. There are three intensities of my criticality. There is the most severe. I hate cluttered desktops. I can’t stand it. It stresses me out. It’s disorganized and unproductive. So that’s a Three. A Two would probably be hot corners. Hot corners I can understand, but I will never use them. Ever. I can somewhat understand how people can deal with them, but ugh. A One is more of a nonessential. A One is looking at peoples’ docks. I feel very smug when I see docks that are the default size and have all the original applications. Somehow it makes me feel cool for putting my cool applications in my dock.
That’s my scale. Three is completely unacceptable. One is nonessential. (Most Ones are things I have done in the past.)
Three
A cluttered desktop
Blowing your nose in a restaurant
Listing all the bands you listen to
Two
Hot corners
Dock Hiding
Two spaces after a period
Not using smart quotes
Commercials on The Office webisodes
Teeth whitening
One
An unmodified dock
Blogger
Windows
Arial
Hotmail
Garden State
Bob Marley
Mispronouncing ‘preface’
(Also, I don’t really like Facebook. I just wanted to put that out there. I couldn’t decide how to classify that. What number would a necessary evil be?)
What brought this up had to do with working out the templates for EM. I don’t like the space between the navigation and the first line of text. I worked so long trying to figure out what was making it do that. It’s too much. But then I started looking around at other sites and they all have it too! So I immediately think they aren’t smart enough to figure it out either. CAN IT BE HELPED?!
Categories: Rants
Tags: critical, evil, ExistentialMedia, SOB
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Comments (10)
That’s why I put hot corners as a two. I know plenty of people who use them, and I’m happy they can work with the, but as for myself I’m not use to it and I always accidently use them at the wrong times.
Posted by matthew 
| November 30, 2007 @ 8:38 AM
Hot Corners and dock hiding are an essential part of my life. tell me more about what you mean about this space… i can probably help. you can do anything with CSS.
Posted by George | November 30, 2007 @ 10:38 AM
Man, I think I would score a one, two, and three, at least one time each. But those office ads do SUCK. They’re so much louder, just like on TV.
Posted by Vicki | November 30, 2007 @ 11:34 AM
“Toby is in HR, which technically means he works for corporate, so he’s really not a part of our family. Also, he’s divorced, so he’s really not a part of his family.”
“Michael Scott: Look, this is very hard for me but I am going to give you my best man. You may have Toby.
Karen: Toby’s not a salesperson.
Michael Scott: You can train him! He’s very, very smart and funny and charming… Lehhargh! You know, I can’t do it. Toby is the worst. That- that was a bluff.”
Posted by Alisha | November 30, 2007 @ 11:46 AM
“Hot Corners and dock hiding are an essential part of my life.”
I can really understand how it could be. It would make it so easy. Somehow I can never get to the dock when I need it. Or when I’m trying to change measurements in quark, the dock pops up.
Posted by matthew | November 30, 2007 @ 12:22 PM
“Man, I think I would score a one, two, and three, at least one time each.”
What do you mean?
Posted by matthew | November 30, 2007 @ 12:26 PM
I also LOVES the hot corners (and the dock hiding. ok and also bob marley..c’mon redemption song? so good). It’s actually really funny cause every time someone other than me uses my computer they inevitably set off one of the hot corners and get all grumbly and confused. I think that might be my favorite part about it.
Also I thought that picture was of you and L eating little hot dogs. so awesome.
Posted by jennabee | November 30, 2007 @ 1:40 PM
My tongue does look obscenely similar to a hot dog.
Posted by Matthew | November 30, 2007 @ 3:34 PM
when you say dock hiding do you mean making it hide on the desktop until you put your mouse on the edge or not hiding it at all? because most programs i work with require dock hiding so that i can maximize my “see space” on the screen. ratatat.
Posted by ariel | December 12, 2007 @ 4:24 PM
I hate cluttered desktops too! When mine begins to look like it’s getting too cluttered, I get this weird stressed feeling. Like I am a mess or something.
I’m guilty of hot corners though - but fuck dock hiding! So annoying…actually that would probably be sectioned under my Three list!
Posted by Mike O. | November 30, 2007 @ 2:58 AM