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Occured in Lincoln, MA: Five Definitions

Domestic Mysticism:

A small frog in the sink
interrupts my grandmother’s chard-rinsing
while outside, rain falls in a cement birdbath.
I am there, here, but where.


Domestic Mysticism:

We go by
second or third names,
nicknames, name games,
and no one can know
to speak our first
which is a face
not a sound.

Domestic Mysticism:

I cannot agree on anything
abstract. But reeds at the edge
of an estuary, the saltwater filtered into standing
up to wind, to day
in a painting of Cape Cod, I imagined I could enter,
drown beneath.


Domestic Mysticism:

Fade of burgundy print
patterns a soft sheet.
Everything seems
and seems to belong,
as a color belongs to its fabric,
silver to a spoon,
or, I have been here.

Also, the limit to description,
definition, inscribes itself
in a pattern which can only describe
its repetition, petition
for asymmetry, repletion.

Domestic Mysticism:

Silk button in a drawer, silk flower
sewn onto some mistake
righted.

DOMESTIC MYSTICISM / URBAN POST-CONFESSIONALISM

Stray iridescence, vagabond jewel in cement, I have absorbed you
through my foot bones, pain prayers, wandering out here
in the urban gardens, (I’m not tough–)

Only resting now inside a bus, well lit and filling up,
home and homelessness cycles as breath, a string strung through a shared sense.
A string around my wrist broke long ago,

and this was how I became a consumer
of gels, foams, glitter, with nothing to hold onto but a vision:
gold nugget replica in the museum, a cigar box painted black as a piano,
purple feather and netting of a felt hat in a window, ordinary, extraordinary
nimble things without presumed significance, between ownership
(blue-finned fishes teething on my limbs)
and my perception an object
too, a carbonate bubble lined in layers and layers of ether,
everything, everything, and isn’t it how.

I was always out west

Dear chokecherries,


Bright down low. Dear ponderosas and smokey chipmunks harvesting pine cones in a fall morning. Last night,
the creek was so clear and cold–

–two bull trouts flashed by, away, even the blooming olives could do nothing to lure them–we waded through the braiding stream and over driftwoods turning to mulch, casting nymphs, stripping back streamers through pools which, as the atmosphere darkened, grew no less clear, and we caught nothing–we were “fish, naked inside the wind.”

Something in me likens a letter I will never send, dear chokecherries, at the base of the ponderosa which reminds me of home, in which someone has hacked a terrible cave–for firewood? or just to be cruel? I touch the tree and look up, it branches less fully on the hacked side, but still, the tree stands higher than the rest. The top of it young as new growth on the ground, the lower branches darkened with moss, and this looking pauses itself in an inability. A lack of communication between life forms. My pity and awe, my blindspots, my inability to imagine being, the bark breaking–I want to throw all my ideas away, but they keep coming back to me–

Like nature.

Dear father, we are learning how to fish.

Another argument for the ordinary

Once, recently, I tried to explain Domestic Mysticism to a glass artist. The whole articulation made me wonder, again, about the nature of the idea in particular, and also about the nature of ideas in general. How much fluidity can an idea bear to run with? An idea is not a vessel for something real and contained/containable, but it is a vessel in that it is a thing made (and which can be, in the words of Merleau-Ponty, unmade.) The glass artist said, I too make vessels. We are in a world of vessels, I said.

And then what I said was this, or something like it: Mysticism in traditional terms privileges, and tries to open the individual up through specific ritual practices to, the experience of the divine. To experience the divine, in these terms, is set apart from ordinary experience–so, one must practice asceticism, take hallucinogens, chant, spin, sit for hours, and then, and thus, enter an abnormal state: ecstasy, realization, transcendence, purification.

But these states, exoticised and idealized, presume that ordinary experience is static, not real, and impure in some way. The mystic feels an intense need to transcend the world, the ordinary, the domestic, the mundane, the self. The mystic feels an intense separation from the divine, and a need to dissolve the boundary between self and the source of light and otherness. This longing is emblematic of the escapist tendency in humans which, at its most interesting, causes mysticism and art, and at its most dogmatic and vile, causes orthodoxy and fundamentalism. I do not intend, as a domestic mystic, to rail against mystic tendencies, certainly not against all art; even religion has its place sociologically.


Took a walk one day in the torrential rain

The world’s a-thunder and I find refuge only in lightening. The streets swim with stray dogs and books moisten into amoebic sutras of suffering and persistence. I don’t know which direction home lies, I’m that close to the equator. My pants stick to my legs as I throw a borrowed and broken umbrella in the gutter; the banyan trees do nothing to keep me from this warm disintegration of sky.

In lightening, or in the moment just before lightening, I imagine a silvery cave, a geode suspended in space, no other ground or gravity. When it cracks open to reveal lavender, its silver going matte, I see myself inside it and maybe a desk and chair, split from wood or wrought from iron by the electric moment. I stand upright in the isolated diorama and think, I could fish for stars from here.

Or in another time, I sit at the edge of an ocean amongst palm fronds whipping in the gray wind. A waiter comes to me to give me his uniform which I do not want. He strips down naked and sits beside me. We cannot see any fish in this ocean, we only see mute crows battling day.

A poem by Barbara Guest

Alteration



In the sky a dilemma. Fountains rush by.
Home from the tournament beasts seek quiet.

Writing covers the desk.

Your colonization of the infinite

is a romantic departure.

I ask you to permit the image

and the alteration of time.

-from The Red Gaze. Please excuse the lack of proper formatting here.

Here and Elsewhere

“I am not, therefore, in Hegel’s phrase, ‘a hole in being’, but a hollow, a fold, which has been made and which can be unmade” (MP, 250).

“To see is to see something” (MP, 436).

In the morning, the something folds open as soap bubbles, indigo fleur-de-lis, a ribbon tossed around the linoleum floor like a harmless snake, and I’m washing the imprint of these things in a porcelain sink, and thinking that I could do this everyday and I do. I’m making sea glass engagement rings in my sink with salt and soap as I scrub them like tides. If I did this everyday, like I do, I could really become quite efficient at all this making and unmaking, could be quite efficient at quietness: speckles inside foxgloves’ openings, their stems just straws set in a blue jar above the sink. Quietness: warmth of the yellow sponge underwater. And company: chairs around the kitchen table, their paint wearing off into a lovely shabby chic–it’s not easy to find home, but-

There’s a kid with a bloodshot smile at the door and now he’s in the house trying to sell us magazines. He’s trying to win a prize for selling the most magazines. How to fit him into all of this? Isn’t that the liberal question? And do I need a magazine? My privacy despairs, and harps into capitalist critique. And then, when he is gone again, rejected, I think, Where is our shared house? Where is the hollow of resolution?

Vapor in the sky pretends a dome–I’m drawn.
I’m drawn to seeing (something) into it.

I’m cabbing through a humid city elsewhere now. Elsewhere of mosques, mausoleums and museums, the streets unnamed. We’re in the chicken district and I can look up to see skyscrapers of open air cages leaning into each other. All the exposed chickens have cock’s combs, swollen and flopping–they’re all roosters un-crowing. The cab driver points out the man who owns this business. He happens to be walking by in a trench coat on this summer day. He’s pointing to his roosters who are ready for harvest. And when he passes people on the street, he swipes them with his index finger, and they hardly notice until they see the red mark appear like a rash on their shoulders or forearms. I’m watching this man and thinking about all the fishes in the ocean, and the dishes I’ve left in my sink. I’m watching this man and as I watch him he begins to turn green. My vision is a filter affecting him, making him sickly and bright, dense as light when it turns to a plant.

The urge to be at peace. The urge to make it right, to wake up. It’s not, and cannot be, to make him go away.

Rain World, Soft Burls

“Our own body is in the world as the heart is in the organism: it keeps the visible spectacle constantly alive, it breathes life into it and sustains it inwardly, and with it forms a system.” -Merleau-Ponty, from Phenomenology of Perception, p. 235.

Warmth inside August rain, a living room open to the visible spectacle of rain. Warmth wants a book, its particular pleasure, made to be made, wants sentence more than plot. Floor-wood breathes in moisture and warps, ottoman-leather seems to want to come back to life, as an animal. The animals here sleep, soft burls, and the rain ceases inside of them. Without moisture I cannot see. Without daytime I cannot.